Dining with the enemy
by cabson
Summary: 'Looks like Alex is dining with the enemy.' Alex saw the pain in Olivia's eyes and heard it in her voice. She knows her best friend is hurt. "How are you gonna fix the heart that you have shattered into a thousand peaces this night?" Alex says. Can Alex safe her friendship and maybe get more or is she gonna lose Olivia for good? A/O as always. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or its characters. They belong to Dick Wolf, the producers and NBC. I only borrow the characters to write my stories. **

**The time line of this story is set at the beginning of the 13****th**** season. But that's the only thing that's equal along with Alex and Casey being the squads ADA's. There are a few adjustments, Liz Donnelly is the EADA and Nick Amaro didn't join SVU. The Detectives are Olivia Benson, Amanda Rollins, John Munch and Fin Tutuola. Of course Cragen is their Captain. **

**A/N I know, I know. I already have 3 other stories running. Blame my muse she kept badgering me for the last week, demanding that I started this story. Said to me that I started with the first chapter ages ago and that is was rotten on the shelf. So here we are... A/O as always.**

**R+R as always, please. **

**Dining with the enemy**

Chapter 1

Alex slams her front door behind her.

"Could this day go any worse?" Alex says to the empty apartment.

This morning Liz came to her office. Said to her that she needed to go dining with Trevor Langen, that creepy weasel of a defense attorney. Said that she needed to keep her friends close and her enemies closer. So she was ordered to have diner with him this evening. Then they got this awful child molester case. And on top of it when she was waiting at the restaurant for Langen, Olivia and Amanda, the Detective that started about a month ago at SVU, came by for a warrant. Of course when they were arguing about that it got worse with Trevor showing up at that exact moment. How was she going to explain it to Olivia that Liz made her go? If, and that was a big IF, the strong Detective would listen to her in the first place. The look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes. The pain in her voice when she said 'looks like Alex is dining with the enemy'. Of course Langen couldn't just hold back and shut up and put in his 2 cents. When Olivia and Amanda left Olivia didn't even look at her. She didn't say anything, she just walked away. It was then she that knew her best friend was really hurt.

It broke her own heart. Not only was Olivia her best friend, she fell in love with the brunette the first time she came into the squad room and was introduced to the beautiful Detective by her Captain Donald Cragen 12 years ago. It was love at first sight for Alex. Something Alex didn't believe in. She was a hard ass ADA and only believed in things that she could explain with logic. That was until she met Detective Olivia "Badass" Benson. The moment she looked into the brown eyes she just knew she was lost. Not that Olivia knows about it. And she made sure back then that nobody noticed it.

"How are you gonna fix this? How are you gonna fix the heart that you have shattered into a thousand peaces this night? How are you gonna fix your own heart?" Alex says to herself.

Walking to her liquor cabinet Alex pulls out a bottle of tequila and a glass. She fills the glass with a shot and downs it and refill it with a double shot. Puts the bottle and glass on her coffee table next to the couch and walks upstairs to her bedroom and turns the light on.

Alex walks to her walk in closet and takes of her dress and puts it on a hanger. She takes her favorite jeans, a formfitting T-shirt and her Harvard hoodie and puts it on. Then walks to her drawer and takes out a pair of sports socks, puts them on and turns out the light of her bedroom and walks downstairs to her couch. All Alex wants to do is get drunk and forget this day happened. But her guts tells her that this night isn't over yet. Something she developed in the years she's been working with SVU and the Detectives. She knows that she has to stay sober a bit at least. If Olivia comes to her apartment she needs to be able to think.

'Oh who are you kidding Cabot? It's not that I'm sober now. But at least I can try not to get drunk. Getting completely drunk won't help fixing this mess... I need to find a way to fix this and not lose the one person that means the most to me.' Alex thinks.

She looks at her glass with tequila.

"Last one for now Cabot. Cheers." Alex says sarcastically to herself.

She takes a sip and puts the glass back at the coffee table.

Olivia is pacing in front of Alex apartment. Trying to get herself together. She knows she screwed up tonight. That she owed the blonde an apology. Alex is her best friend. She is more to Olivia then her best friend. She was attracted to the blonde attorney the moment that the ADA walked into the squad room for the first time. All those years ago. She ignored her feelings since she knew Alex was straight. Hell she was straight herself too. That's why she got so confused and buried her feelings. And could keep it that way until recently. She noticed she looked at the blonde ADA differently lately and it confused the hell out of the Detective. Which had let her to snap against Alex and her current situation.

'I hope I didn't screw it up so badly that I destroyed our friendship. I don't know what to do without her in my life.' Olivia thinks. She shakes her head and then knocks on the door.

Alex hears the knock on her door and knows it's Olivia. She knows that knock and her doorman wouldn't let anyone else up without announcing it to her first, not even her mother. Alex walks to the front door and takes a deep breath.

"Time to face firing squad." Alex whispers before she opens the door.

"Hi Olivia." Alex says.

"Hi Alex. May I come in? I know it's kinda late." Olivia softly asks.

"Yes of course. Please, come in." Alex answers.

She takes a step aside to let Olivia get in her apartment. Olivia walks inside and turns around to close the door. They walk into the living room. Olivia takes of her leather jacket and drapes it around a chair at the dinner table. Alex points to the couch.

"Take a seat. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, tea, perhaps a beer?" Alex asks.

"Yes. How about an other glass? I think I might need that." Olivia answers pointing at the bottle tequila on the coffee table.

"Ok, let me get a glass." Alex says and walks to the liquor cabinet.

Taking out a glass she whispers to herself. "You're screwed, Cabot."

She walks back to the couch and holds out the glass to Olivia.

"Help yourself, Liv." Alex says.

Olivia fills her glass with tequila as much as Alex has. She downs half the glass and puts it on the table.

"Alex, about tonight." Olivia starts talking.

Alex interrupts Olivia before she can say anything else.

"Liv, I'm sorry." Alex says.

"Alex, let me say what I have to say before I lose my nerve, please?" Olivia asks Alex.

"Yes, of course. Sorry." Alex answers.

"I'm sorry for the way I behaved tonight. I was acting like a jerk. I shouldn't have make that comment. I felt horrible already. Then that creepy weasel showed up, and I took it out on you, I shouldn't have done that. I know you must have a good reason for getting dinner with him. I really am sorry. Will you forgive me, please?" Olivia asks.

Olivia looks at Alex, the look of guilt in her eyes, and turns her head away and let it hang down.

'You should have known. That she blames herself and not you.' Alex thinks.

"There is nothing to forgive you for Liv, but I do forgive you. I know I don't have to explain to you why I had dinner with that creepy weasel, I just want you to know that it wasn't my idea and I didn't have a choice." Alex answers.

Olivia looks at Alex and burst out in laughter.

"That creepy weasel huh? Glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks he is a creepy weasel, Counselor." Olivia winked at Alex.

"Who forced you into that then? Just curious. Wait, don't say it, let me guess. Liz made you go didn't she?" Olivia asks.

"I'm glad you think that's funny Detective. Seriously, yes it was Liz and it was an order. She said keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Then she ordered me to have dinner with him tonight. Short dinner I can tell you that. After you two left he made a comment. Something about you and not doing your job otherwise you would have had the warrant. I ordered dinner and gave him a piece of my mind. After I chewed his ass off I left him with the bill and walked out the restaurant. Which probable will get me a lecture from about an hour from Liz. It's totally worth it though." Alex laughs.

"Boy do I wish I was there to see that. I would pay big money to see the look on his face after you chewed his ass off and then left the restaurant. I bet it was priceless." Olivia smirks.

"Oh it was. Really, you should have seen his face when I said it was a shame that it was wasted, the food I ordered. He asked me why it was wasted. I told him that it was wasted because it would be served but no one would be there to eat it. And then I left." Alex smiles.

Alex and Olivia looks at each other and then they both burst out in laughter. They laughed until their cheeks starts hurting. Olivia was the first one that could get herself together.

"I can't remember the last time I've laughed so long that my cheeks start hurting." Olivia smiles.

"Me neither. But I'm glad we did." Alex says.

"So are we good, Alex?" Olivia asks softly.

"Yeah, we're good." Alex answers.

"That's very good news, Counselor. I thought I screwed it up too bad this time that I maybe would lose you because of my own stupidness. I hate myself for hurting you even though I didn't do it on purpose. That's something I would never do to you." Olivia says.

"I know that you will never do that. I should have told you that Liz ordered me to have dinner with him tonight. I knew I was on the call and that it would be possible that you needed me. I also know that we think the same about slimy defense attorneys. I'm sorry for hurting you too tonight, I know I did." Alex apologizes.

"Lets just say we didn't have our best day today, shall we?" Olivia asks.

"That's the understatement of at least the month for me. But alright lets keep it on that." Alex laughs.

"How about I take you to dinner tomorrow evening? To make it up for the ass chewing you're gonna get from Liz tomorrow. At least we know she won't chew your ass of for that." Olivia asks smirking.

"That's not necessary Liv it wasn't you who chew his ass off. But I do accept your offer, I would be stupid if I turned down a nice evening with you." Alex answers.

"It's a deal. How about I pick you up at 7 pm, if the perps in this city allow us to have a free evening?" Olivia asks.

"Works for me, Detective." Alex answers.

"Alright, I'll get out of your hair now. See you tomorrow morning, Counselor." Olivia says as she stands up and walks to the dinner table.

"Let me walk you to the door." Alex says as Olivia puts on her leather jacket.

They walked to the door and shortly hugged each other. Olivia opens the door and walks outside.

"Lock the door behind me, Alex. This may be a better part of Manhattan but that doesn't mean that it's always safe." Olivia says.

"I will. Let me know it when you get home, Detective." Alex says.

"I will. See you tomorrow, Lex." Olivia says as she walks away.

"See you tomorrow, Liv." Alex says before she closes the door and locks it just like Olivia asked her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's four pm and the four Detectives were sitting at their desks and Cragen was standing next to Olivia's desk. They hadn't found the evidence they needed for a warrant yet. Basically there were waiting for the results of the lab to come back hoping they would get something that could give them a warrant. But that would probably not sooner than Monday morning giving the time of the day and that it would be weekend soon. The things they had checked out so far lead them to nothing. They have a few more things to check and if they would come up with nothing again Cragen had decided to call it a day. The last couple of weeks his Detectives had putted in enough hours and they deserved a free weekend. Olivia and Fin were on the call this weekend.

"Anyone has plans for the weekend?" Cragen asks.

"I'm going to enjoy a free weekend at home." Munch says.

"Ken is coming for dinner with Alejandro tomorrow. Other than that I didn't make any plans since I'm on the call this weekend." Fin answers.

"Nothing planned here. I'm probably go take a run tomorrow and Sunday but that's all." Amanda says.

"How about you Liv? Got any plans?" Fin asks.

"I'm on the call too as you know. I'm just gonna grab a bite with Alex tonight if the perps of NY allow us. Make up for the ass chewing she probably got form Liz today. Maybe get a couple of drinks but that's about it I have planned for this weekend." Olivia answers with a soft smile.

Amanda's eyebrows shoot into her hairline hearing that Olivia is gonna have dinner with Alex. She doesn't know that the women are best friends and after last night she can't believe what she hears.

"You're gonna do what?" Amanda asks surprised.

"I'm going out to eat something with Alex. Something wrong with that?" Olivia asks, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

The guys sit up straight and look away or at their desk like something else is suddenly very interesting. Cragen stands like he is ready to hide in his office. All they can hope that Amanda won't make the mistake to refer Alex to her nickname because hell will come down then. And they won't stay in the squad room if that happens.

"After what she did yesterday you're gonna have dinner with the Ice Queen? Are ya nuts or having a bit of death wish?" Amanda asks shocked.

"No she doesn't but you have." Fin mumbles under his breath.

Within 5 seconds Olivia jumped of her chair and walked to Amanda's desk. The guys and Cragen almost run out of the squad room closing the door behind them to keep the noise inside. About a minute later at the most wrongly timed moment they hear a well known click clack on the floor. They all flip around to see Alex walking towards them.

"Why are you all standing here and are the doors to the squad room closed? What's wrong?" Alex asks raising one eyebrow.

The men look at each other as for who is gonna answer that question.

"You're the Captain, you tell her." Munch says.

"Tell me what? What's going on here?" Alex asks sternly.

"Amanda made a mistake and called you the Ice Queen." Fin says.

"So what? I know I'm called the Ice Queen behind my back." Alex asks.

"I know that Counselor. But Amanda made the mistake to call you that in front and at Olivia. We were talking about what we're doing this weekend and Olivia said that she was on the call but that she would have dinner with you tonight. When the perps allow it of course. Amanda asked if she was nuts or having a bit of death wish to go and have dinner with the Ice Queen after yesterday. That was our cue to leave the squad room as soon as possible." Cragen answers.

"Oh boy." Alex mutters.

Then the blonde ADA's head jerks up.

"Wait a second. You're gonna let her and let her kick Rollins ass?" Alex asks curious.

"Yes. I warned Rollins a couple of weeks ago when she called you that, not to do it in front of Olivia or when she could hear it. I told her not to do it in front of Olivia or somewhere she could hear it. That it would be the dumbest thing she could do. I said that I warned her this time but that if she would do it that she would be on her own. Amanda said that she wasn't afraid and that Olivia was a female Detective just like her. And that yes she was new here but that they both needed to learn their new places with an other female Detective in the squad. Of course I told Amanda that Olivia was second in command after me and that she was her superior. Amanda said that she understood that but this was a girl thing. So if she wants a fight she can have it. As long as they don't end up on a bed in the hospital I'm not going to interfere, so to speak of course. It may be against the rules but if I want this out of the way it's the only way to get it done." Cragen answers.

Alex shakes her head.

"How long do you plan on staying here?" Alex asks, looking at her watch.

"5 minutes." Cragen answers.

Just when Alex wants to ask if they had something on the case they hear a noise coming from the squad room. They all turn around and see a chair flying trough the room and Amanda trying to hit Olivia in her face. Fin and Munch storm into the squad room with Alex and Cragen on their heels. When they got to the two women Olivia had Amanda on her stomach face down the floor and her arms on her back. Fin grabs Olivia and pulls her of the blonde Detective. Munch grabs Amanda helps her on her feet and holds her back.

"I thought the two of you could handle this maturely. Apparently I was wrong. I won't suspend you both this time because I let it come this far. But you both get one and at the same time final warning. Don't let this happen again or you both will be suspended. Do I make myself clear?!" Cragen asks sternly.

"Yes Sir." Olivia says.

"Yes Captain." Amanda says.

"Good. Benson, you shouldn't have let it come it so far that Amanda tried to hit you, no matter how angry you got and defended or protected Alex. And Rollins I don't tolerate violence within my own squad. Do it again and you not only will be suspended but you also go to an anger management course. I don't know what was said and I don't care, we do not hit or try to hit our colleagues. Understood?" Cragen asks.

"Yes Captain. But..." Amanda starts.

"No buts. I warned you not to call Alex an Ice Queen in front of Olivia. It was your decision to put that warning beside you. This are the consequences of your actions. Alex and Casey are the best ADA's this unit ever had. They have the highest conviction rate. And they both care deeply for the victims of the cases we work on. No matter what impression they might give or how they act." Cragen says.

"Rollins go home take some rest. We have nothing new on the case and your not on the call. Fin and Munch you two finish up, check the lab and Warner. Benson, my office now. We need to talk." Cragen says.

Amanda mutters something under her breath takes her coat from her chair and walks outside the squad room. Fin and Munch shrug their shoulders and go back to their desks. Olivia picks up the chair and places it back to Amanda's desk then she walks to Cragen's office.

"I'm sorry Counselor is there anything I can do for you?" Cragen asks.

"No I just came by to see if you guys got some new information or something that could give you a warrant. Casey is on the call for us this weekend so I thought I came by and asks." Alex answers.

"Well thanks for coming by." Cragen says.

Cragen thinks for a moment and turns to Munch.

"John would you mind taking over Olivia's shift tonight and let's say from 8 to 10 am tomorrow morning?" Cragen asks.

Munch doesn't have to think about it. Olivia works more hours than the rest of them and always takes care of holidays or switches shifts when they ask her, plans or no plans. He heard what happened last night and thought that both women could use some time of together so that they could talk without interruptions.

"No of course not. I would offer to cover the whole weekend if Olivia would allow it but we all know that she would kick my ass if I did. So till tomorrow 10 am it is." Munch answers.

"Thank you." Cragen says.

Cragen turns back to Alex and takes a step towards her so that stands closer to the blonde attorney.

"Talk to her tonight Alex, try to get it out of her what Amanda said that hurts her so much. You and I both now that she only would go so far that Amanda tries to hit her if she's hurt badly and probably about you. I don't want to know it unless you think I really need to know it." Cragen says softly.

"I won't push her to talk. When we talk and she mentions something I'll try to. But if she doesn't I'm not gonna bring it up tonight. I want her to relax tonight and that is more important for me now." Alex answers softly.

"Alright. Take care of her Counselor and take care of yourself. See you next week." Cragen says.

"I will. See you next week." Alex answers.

Alex turns around to walk away when she hears Olivia voice.

"Hey Alex, we're still on for tonight right?" Olivia asks.

Alex turns back to look at the Detective.

"Yes we are. I'm not on the call so if nothing comes in between from your side I'll see you at 7 pm." Alex smiles.

"Good. See you then, Counselor." Olivia smiles back widely.

Alex can't help herself and smiles back the same way.

"See you then, Detective." Alex says.

Alex turns around and walks away swaying her hips just a bit more than usual...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Inside Olivia bedroom it looks like a bomb had just exploded. Clothes are lying through the whole bedroom and on the Detective's bed. There is not a single piece in Olivia's closet except for her dress uniform and the three dresses she owns. The only things she is wearing so far are a silk lace bra and color matching tight men's boxer short. Olivia looks at the alarm clock on her night stand and pulls her hand through her just trimmed hair.

"Great in an hour I need to pick up Alex and for some strange reason I don't know what to wear. It's just dinner with Alex for heaven's sake. Make up your mind, Benson!" Olivia says to herself.

Across town in a luxurious apartment on the top floor of the building the same situation is happening. Alex finished showering half an hour ago and is now the blonde ADA is pacing inside her walk-in-closet. Her bedroom is an exact match to a certain Detective's bedroom. Half of the clothes Alex have are laying across her bedroom and king sized bed. The other half is still in her closet and three quarter of them are her business suits. Walking back into her bedroom Alex looks at the clock at the wall and curses.

"Damn it Cabot, you only have 1 hour left before Olivia is due to pick you up!" Alex chastises herself.

Alex walks back into her closet and looks around desperately when her eye falls on a blue dress that matches the color of her eyes. When she sees the dress she remembers what Olivia once said about it, how it brings up the color of her eyes and that it looked great on the blonde ADA. Alex decides that she's gonna wear the dress. After Alex is done she walks to the large mirror in her walk-in-closet. Looking into the mirror Alex is content with what she sees. She hopes that what she is wearing will be alright for where Olivia is taking her. The brunette had said that she could wear what she wanted but nothing formal. It was just dinner to make up the ass chewing. Nothing fancy but also not at one of the deli's they usually go to with the guys. That's all the Detective would say.

At exactly 7 pm there was a knock on Alex's front door. Alex walks to the door and looks through peep hole even though she already knows who's on the other side of the door. She would recognize that knock everywhere and Alex knew that outside their jobs the Detective would never let her wait. Seeing that it is indeed Olivia she unlocks the door and opens it. Both women look at each other for a moment before they can react.

"You look beautiful Alex. I almost feel sorry for the guy who's taking you out on a date and you're dressed to the nines. He won't know what hits him." Olivia says.

Alex blushes and looks at Olivia. The Detective is wearing a formfitting white pants with a tight fitting white shirt and black blouse, to complete the outfit she is wearing the black leather jacket that Alex loves so much.

"You're not looking so bad yourself too, Detective." Alex answers.

The blonde is waiting for her compliment to be dismissed but to her surprise Olivia just blushes like she did and nods.

"Ready to go, Lex?" Olivia asks.

"Yes" Alex answers picking up her purse from the small table in the hallway.

Alex closes the door behind her and locks it. Olivia waits patiently for Alex to be ready. When the blonde is ready Olivia holds out her arm to Alex and the attorney links their arms. They walk to the elevator and go downstairs. When they step outside the elevator George, the doorman, smiles.

"Have a nice evening Detective Benson and Ms. Cabot." George says holding open the door.

"Thank you, George." Alex says.

"Thanks. I'm sure it will be." Olivia answers.

When they arrive at Olivia's car the Detective opens the passenger door for Alex before she walks around the car and steps inside herself. As they drive away Alex looks aside at Olivia.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going now?" Alex asks.

Olivia looks at Alex for a moment and just smiles before she looks back at the road.

"You'll find it out soon enough Counselor." Olivia answers.

"I guess that's a no than." Alex says.

"You guessed that right. You just have to wait and be patient." Olivia smiles.

Alex shakes her head and looks outside the front window. The ADA knows she's not getting more out of the Detective than this. After the short drive to the restaurant Olivia kills the engine and steps outside her car and walks around it to open the door for Alex and holds out her hand. Alex accepts it and steps out the car.

"Who says that cavalry is dead?" Alex teases.

Olivia shrugs with shoulders and locks the car before she turns around to lead Alex to the restaurant. Olivia opens the door to the restaurant and Alex smiles walking inside. As soon as Olivia is standing next to Alex a waiter walks to them.

"Detective Benson, it's good to see again. Who's this beautiful lady at your side?" Juan Pedro asks.

"JP meet my best friend and co worker ADA Alexandra Cabot, Alex meet Juan Pedro also called JP." Olivia introduces them.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Cabot. You may call me JP everyone else does." Juan Pedro says as he shakes hands with Alex.

"Nice to meet you too." Alex answers.

After they exchanged pleasantries JP told Olivia that her usual table was ready for them and leads them to it. Olivia places her hand on the small of Alex's back as she leads her through the restaurant. When both women are seated JP asked what they wanted to drink and said that he would be back shortly to take there orders. After JP was back with their drinks and Olivia and Alex had ordered JP leaves them alone. Alex looks around the restaurant before she turns her attention back to Olivia.

"This is a beautiful place, Olivia. How many dates have you brought here?" Alex ask teasingly.

Olivia looks Alex straight in her eyes as she answers the blonde's question.

"None, this is the first time I'm taking someone to this place and you are the only one that I'll take here." Olivia answers.

Alex looks shocked at Olivia and sees the sincerity in the brown eyes.

"Care to explain that to me?" Alex asks surprised.

Olivia takes a deep breath and starts to explain it to the younger blonde.

"I've come to this place for several years actually. After you were shot and whisked away into Witsec I was broken, devastated. All the places we used to go to would remember me of you and I couldn't handle it. I missed you so much. So I went looking for a place we would have go to together. A place that would remind me of you but without the memories of us going to it. A place where I could eat when I missed you too much and somehow could feel close to you. Then I found this place and I knew as soon as I saw this that it was The place. It was something just for me that nobody would never know about. Not even you. Not after you came back to us from Witsec and not after you came back from the Congo." Olivia answers softly.

Alex's heart breaks when she hears why Olivia searched for and found this restaurant. She knew that Olivia was hurt when she went into Witsec and she knew that although the Detective never mentioned it she was hurt when she left for the Congo. What the blonde attorney didn't know was that it hurt and affected the strong brunette this much.

"I'm sorry, Liv. I didn't know it hurt you this much. If you don't want to answer it that's alright but what made you change your mind? Why did you take me here tonight?" Alex softly asks.

"Something Rollins said when we were fighting. But I don't want to talk about it now. It's supposed to be night out of fun." Olivia answers.

"Alright, just promise me we will talk about it some other time when you are ready for it." Alex says.

"I promise. We will talk about it some time just not today or tomorrow." Olivia says.

They have some small talk till JP comes with their food. Alex and Olivia had decided to take the mixed grill menu for two persons, 3 different kinds of meat with a salad and French fries. After JP stalled everything out on their table he left. They start to eat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes.

"After I talked with Cragen he told me that I'm free till tomorrow morning 10 am. So now that I'm not on the call would you like to grab a drink or two with me after we finished dinner?" Olivia asks.

"Sure, I would like to spend the evening with you. So a drink or two would be nice." Alex answers smiling.

"Great let's do that. I'd like to spend the evening with you too Counselor." Olivia smiles back.

The rest of their dinner was relaxed and they talked about a lot of things. But there was something differently tonight. They kept looking at each other when they thought the other didn't notice it. Neither of the women mentioned it but something had changed between them last night. Alex and Olivia both thought it was their own imagination that made them think that the other was looking at her. Little did they both know.

When they had finished their dinner Olivia paid the check and the walked outside. Since they were going to grab a drink they had decided to bring Olivia's car to Alex apartment building and take a cab. Olivia had been drinking OJ since she needed to drive and she would never drink when she drives. Waiting outside Alex's apartment building for the cab Alex turns to Olivia.

"Where do you want to go?" Alex asks.

"We could go to Miracle if you want to." Olivia answers.

"I think that's a great idea. No chance we're running into someone we know. If you behave yourself I might ask you to dance with me." Alex winks.

"Fat chance that will happen Counselor, I need more than a drink or two for that to happen. I might be off duty tonight but I'm still on the call tomorrow. And I certainly need more alcohol in my system before I will dance at all not just with you." Olivia smirks.

"We'll see about that, Detective." Alex smiles.

Just when Olivia wants to react the cab arrives. They get into the cab and Olivia gives the driver the address from Miracle. They saw it once when they were on their way to a crime scene and decided to check the place out the next evening when they would go out with just the two of them. It turned out to be a bar with a small dance floor. It wasn't a place where neither of their colleagues would go to and they decided that if they want to go out and not run into anyone they know they would go there. Through the years they would come there about once per month.

Alex and Olivia were sitting at the bar having a good time together when a tall guy approached them.

"Would you like something to drink from me?" The man asks Alex.

"No thank you I already have one." Alex answers pointing at the glass in front of her.

"How about a dance?" He asks.

"No thank you. I'm here with someone." Alex answers.

Alex knows where this is going to and she knows that Olivia knows it to. Without having to look at the brunette she can feel the anger starting build up in the Detective. Not that the asshole notice it.

"Who, her? I'm sure your friend won't mind if we have one or two dances. It's just a dance, c'mon." The guy answers putting his hand on Alex arm.

"It doesn't matter to you. I said no." Alex answers.

Olivia stood up as soon as the guy putted his hand on Alex's arm.

"I think the lady made it clear that she doesn't want your drinks or dance with you." Olivia says trough her teeth.

"Buzz off bozo. I'm talking with her not you." The guy says pulling at Alex arm.

Alex looks at Olivia and she is surprised at the look in the Detective eyes. Besides anger there is something else. It looks like... no that can't be. It looks like the Detective is jealous. Alex tries to pull her arm back but the guy won't let it go. Then the look in Olivia's eyes changes. Without knowing it herself Olivia looks at the guy like she is silently saying 'she is mine'. Alex recognizes the look. She has seen it often enough a very long time ago. But not in Olivia's eyes. Alex is doing a happy dance on the inside. She knows now that she has a chance, she just has to play it right. Although that will be hard enough. The blonde ADA decides to let Olivia handle the situation. Daniel, the bartender, looks at Alex but the blonde shakes her head. A knowing smile is forming on the bartender's mouth.

"I suggest you let go of her arm before I have your ass arrested for harassing an officer of the court." Olivia growls.

The guy let Alex go and turns to Olivia. As soon as he let Alex go Olivia steps between him and Alex raising to her full hight. Protecting Alex with her own body.

"How do ya think you're gonna do that, bitch?" The guy growls.

Olivia pulls her leather jacket aside so that she's showing her badge.

"Like this, bitch." Olivia says with a cold voice.

The guy backs off seeing Olivia's golden badge.

"Damn cop." The guy spats at Olivia.

"That's damn Detective for you. Now leave slime ball!" Olivia snaps back.

The guy turns around and walks out of the bar. Olivia keeps shooting daggers at his back till the guy is gone before she turns to Alex.

"Are you alright, Alex? He didn't hurt you did he?" Olivia asks.

"I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. You protected me just fine, like you always will." Alex answers.

"Ok. How about we finish our drinks and go back to your place? I think we need talk about something don't you think?" Olivia asks shyly.

"I think you are right. And this is not the place to do that. So let's finish our drinks and go back to my place." Alex answers.

They finish their drinks and Olivia calls Daniel to pay for their drinks.

"How much do get from me, Daniel?" Olivia asks.

"Nothing Detective. This one is on the house. You handled that little situation pretty good. For a moment I thought you would kick his ass. Not that I would have mind and I wouldn't have stopped you. The guy was asking for it." Daniel answers.

"It was nothing. The guy just didn't take no for answer." Olivia shrugs it of.

"You did what you had to do and protected Alex here. Not everyone would have done what you did, badge or no badge." Daniel says.

"Everyone in their right mind would have. Anyway if you're sure that I don't have to pay, we just leave now than." Olivia says.

"Yes I'm sure. Consider it a thank you for what you did. See you two in a month or so." Daniel smiles.

Olivia thanks the bartender and walks Alex out of the bar and holds a cab. Just before they step into the cab Olivia turns to Alex.

"If you behave yourself Counselor maybe, just maybe, you will get your dance tonight." Olivia winks before she lightly pushes Alex into the cab.


	4. Chapter 4 Revelations part 1

Chapter 4 Revelations part 1.

After Olivia and Alex were back in the blonde's apartment Alex had asked Olivia if she could get them a drink while she quickly would changed her clothes. Olivia had agreed and Alex went upstairs to change her clothes. Olivia walked to the kitchen and got them both a bottle of beer. They only had one drink at the bar so she thought she could have another one with Alex. Olivia is sitting on the couch for about 2 minutes when Alex comes back into the living room and walks to the couch taking a seat next to the Detective. The sat on the couch drinking their beers and having small talk for about half an hour when Alex decides to ask Olivia what she wanted to talk about when she mentioned earlier that they needed to talk.

"Olivia, you said that you thought we needed to talk about something earlier, what is it that we need to talk about?" Alex asks.

Olivia takes a swig of her beer before she puts it on the table and turns back to Alex.

"Yes I did. I seemed like a good idea when I said it. Now I'm not so sure it is." Olivia answers.

"Right. Can you tell me what the subject is or why it doesn't seem such a good idea now?" Alex asks.

"Because I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I can handle it. The outcome of that conversation I mean." Olivia answers.

Alex thinks about it for a few moments.

"How about we talk about what I think we need to talk about? We can stop talking about it when either of us wants it, no questions asked." Alex asks.

"Alright deal." Olivia says.

The Detective is relieved that Alex let it go without pressing it. What they don't know is that they wanted to talk about the same thing.

"I have the feeling that something has changed between us last night. I just don't know what it is. I don't feel like it's a bad thing though. Is it just me or do you think the same?" Alex asks.

Olivia had just picked up her beer bottle and almost drops it when Alex says what she had been thinking about. Shaking herself internally the Detective puts the bottle back on the table.

"No it isn't just you. This is exactly what I was thinking about. I have the same feeling. I also don't know what it is. Just that it's not a bad thing too. How about we both try to figure it out for ourselves and when we both are ready to talk about it we'll talk?" Olivia asks softly.

"Wow, I didn't see this coming. Alright, I think that's a good idea. We just let it rest and when we both feel comfortable enough we talk about it. I'm glad that we have the same feeling and think the same about." Alex answers.

"Yeah me too." Olivia answers.

They are both silent for a moment.

"Well they do say that great minds think alike. So apparently we have great minds." Olivia jokes.

"Speak for yourself Detective, I already knew that I have a great mind." Alex jokes back.

"And a big ego too, watch it Counselor or you won't fit through the door opening anymore. Doesn't matter which one." Olivia teases.

"Who's cocky here now, Detective?" Alex teases back.

"You think you know the answer to everything don't ya, ADA Cabot?" Olivia counters.

"Well not everything but yes, pretty much." Alex smiles.

Olivia knows that the younger blonde is ticklish and decides to use that as her advantage now. To get rid of the nervousness, they both seemed to have earlier, completely.

"Well see if you can answer to this." Olivia says, launching herself at Alex.

Before the blonde knows what happens Olivia has her on her back on the couch and sits on top of her tickling the attorney. Alex tries to worm herself away from the Detective but Olivia is way to strong for the ADA. Using her full body to keep the younger woman just where she wants her to be.

"Stop it...Liv... please... stop." Alex says laughing.

Olivia holds still for a moment but doesn't let go of Alex.

"Not until you admit that you don't know everything or pretty much everything." Olivia smiles.

"Nuh uh. Not gonna... happen." Alex says.

Alex didn't even finish that sentence before Olivia starts tickling her again. Having absolutely no mercy with the blonde. Olivia isn't ticklish and no matter what Alex tries she is not getting away.

"Alright...alright... I don't now everything... now stop it...please." Alex finally says.

As soon as Alex admits it Olivia stops and looks down at the blonde. Both women trying to get their breath. While she's looking down it hits Olivia again how beautiful the blonde is. She quickly gets off the blonde and picks up her bottle. Downing what's left in it at once.

"I'm gonna grab my last beer for this night. Do you want another one too?" Olivia asks, needing to get away from Alex for a moment.

"Yeah sure. It's gonna be my last one too." Alex answers.

Olivia walks quickly to the kitchen leaving a confused Alex behind her. Alex knows Olivia uses this as an excuse to get away for a moment although she has no clue what the reason behind it is. She just lets it go thinking that the Detective is just a little edgy due to all the talking about feelings tonight.

The next 6 weeks were going well between the two women. They got closer to each other, more touchy when they were at one of their apartments. And spend more time together then they had done before. Neither of them spoke about it though. They did talk about what their separations had meant for both of them. How it had effected them both. Two weeks ago Alex had told Olivia that she was having 10 days off in two weeks and that she was going to the family's vacation house in the Hampton's for a week and asked Olivia if she wanted to come with her. Saying that the Detective had more days saved up then she could use and that she deserved a week off. To Alex surprise Olivia accepted the invitation and said that she needed to ask the Captain if she could get a week off on such short notice. Of course Cragen had given her the week of and added a few extra days. He was more than happy to give her the time off. She had told him that she was going to Alex's family vacation house for about a week. On Olivia's request he didn't mention to the rest of the squad that she had some time off. And he had a feeling that if Rollins would know what Olivia was going to do sooner than the Detective would leave, it could lead to trouble and possibly would get them back to square one if not worse, should they get into a fight again. The two women worked together when needed and slowly they came on better terms with each other. However, nobody knew what their fight was about. Neither of them had talked about with someone else. Except for what Olivia had told Alex on the night they went to dinner together at that special place. Other than that she even hadn't talked with Alex about it.

Today it's Friday and the last day that Olivia is working before leaving for the Hampton's with Alex tonight. Olivia worked with Fin today and had mentioned that she had taken some vacation days but when Fin wanted to ask about it the phone on his desk went off and they hadn't talked about anymore. At 3:50 pm Cragen had told everyone to finish things up and then leave for the weekend. Munch and Amanda were on the call but since they didn't have an urgent case currently he had sent them home too. Told them that they could come back the next morning if they didn't get a call tonight. Cragen said he has meeting in the commissioner's office in 10 minutes and that when he comes back he wanted to see all the desks empty. It's almost 5 pm and all the Detectives are finishing up. Olivia kept looking at the clock about every ten minutes for the last hour. They had packed Alex's car last night so that they could leave as soon as they were free. She wants to be ready for Alex, who would come and pick her up to leave at 5 pm. Fin saw Olivia looking at the clock for the third time when he decided to tease Olivia with it.

"Getting eager to leave now that you have a few days off, huh Liv? You know if you want to go get groceries so badly and stock your fridge for the next days, you can do mine too if ya want. I don't have no problems with that at all." Fin jokes.

"Fat chance that's gonna happen, Tutuola. Besides, I'm not going to get groceries. What's the point of getting groceries when you're not there." Olivia laughs.

"Wait a second, Benson. How many days off do you have?" Fin asks.

"10 days. Why?" Olivia asks.

"What exactly is it that you are going to do and with whom? I think that's a good question since I happen to know that our esteemed ADA has the exact same days off too." Fin asks a little surprised.

And unfortunately a little too loud to. Munch and Amanda are looking up hearing that the Detective has 10 days off, which is extremely rare, and that Alex has the same days off too.

"That's something I would like to know too, Benson." Munch answers waggling his eyebrows.

Amanda who putted one and one together looks at Olivia, actually more like glares at the older Detective. Olivia feels Amanda glaring at her and turns around to the blonde Detective.

"Don't tell us that you are..." Amanda starts.

"If I were you I wouldn't start again and finish that sentence, Rollins." Olivia interrupts sternly.

"Oh really because I don't think I was finished yet." Amanda counters back.

"You want to go another round? Fine, you and me in there. NOW!" Olivia spats, pointing at interrogation room 1.

Amanda walks to the interrogation room in a straight line not looking back if Olivia is following her, knowing that she will and with that makes a mistake she doesn't know about. Olivia picks up her leather jacket and walks behind Amanda but just before she enters the room she points at the on-button for the interrogation room and looks back at Fin for a second. That's enough Fin understands immediately what Olivia means. He nods back and Olivia walks inside the room and closes the door behind her. Fin and Munch are starting to walk to the space between interrogation room 1 and Cragen's office when they hear Alex's heels on the floor. They turn around and wait for Alex. Before the blonde ADA can say anything Fin opens his mouth.

"Bad timing Alex, follow us to interrogation room 1 and we will explain it to you." Fin says, turning around again.

Of course Alex is surprised but she doesn't see Olivia so she assumes, correctly, that the strong Detective is in the interrogation room. She follows Fin and Munch whom are walking again to listen what's going on in said room. Because they had waited for Alex, the trio had missed the first part when they start listening. Fin quickly and softly tells Alex what happened in two sentences before they are silent and Fin pushes the on-button.

"Even if I was, you're not half the woman she is! Do I need to repeat everything I said last time again? And this is definitely not the way to try change my mind, not that you can change it." Olivia says sternly.

When Amanda takes a step to Olivia and leans forwards the older Detective steps aside.

"And I wouldn't try that again if I were you!" Olivia says with an ice cold voice.

"Oh and what would ya do about it, nothing but threats like the last time? Nobody heard or saw us and they only came inside because they heard the damn chair after I jumped up!" Amanda spats.

"Try again and I will report your sorry ass to the rat squad for sexual harassment! Do you really think I would that stupid and put myself in the same situation again without any witnesses? I don't think so! For a Detective you didn't act so smart. I know they will keep their mouth shut against the rat squad if I ask them. So if I were you I wouldn't make a third strike." Olivia answers.

Amanda certainly has a strange way to show that she's got a crush on Olivia and when she hears that Olivia had set her up, sort of, she barely can control her anger and starts walking to Olivia again. Only this time not to kiss her.

"Try that and I will report it to Cragen, if you're lucky when I come back. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going on a vacation. I'm sure that Alex is here now." Olivia says as she puts on her jacket.

Olivia opens the door, walks outside and slams the door behind. The Detective sees that not only Fin and Munch are standing there but Alex too.

"You two will do nothing until I say so." Olivia says, pointing at Fin and Munch and turns to Alex.

"C'mon let's go, Lex. We are going on our vacation." Olivia says as she walks away.

Alex just follows Olivia out of the squad room stunned by the Detective's actions.


	5. Chapter 5 Revelations part 2

**A/N I did my best to get the second part done as soon as I could. I need to study a lot since I have my first exam since 18 years in 2 weeks. This week I will be able to write regularly but next week is probably a different story. So y'all need to have some patience with me than. And thank y'all for all the reviews, fav's and follows I get so much and so fast. You gals and guys rock!**

**Alright I won't keep y'all waiting any longer. Here's part 2. Enjoy reading it. **

Chapter 5 Revelations part 2.

The first hour of their ride both women were quiet. Alex tried to get her head around what happened and sensing that the Detective needed some time. And Olivia was trying to calm down not wanting to lash out at the blonde next to her in the drivers seat. Both women were lost in their own mind when Olivia's cellphone went off causing both women jump in their seats. Olivia pulled out her cellphone and looked at it.

"It's Casey, should I pick up?" Olivia asks.

"I think you should, you don't know what she wants. You can always put it on the speaker." Alex answers.

Olivia nods and picks up.

"Benson." Olivia says.

"Olivia, it's Casey." Casey answers.

"Hi Casey, is there something I can do for you?" Olivia asks.

"I was in the squad room half an hour ago. Fin was there with Munch, they told me you had another round with Amanda about Alex. Are you alright? Is Alex alright?" Casey asks.

"Hold on a moment, Case. I'll put you on the speaker. Alex is sitting next to me." Olivia answers.

Olivia pulls her cellphone from her ear and puts it on the speaker.

"It's on the speaker now Casey. Did you just say that Fin was there with Munch?" Olivia asks looking at Alex.

"Yes. Why?" Casey asks.

"Rollins wasn't there?" Olivia asks.

"No. Should she?" Casey asks.

"Yes. She's on the call with Munch this weekend. Cragen told everyone to go home before he left but if Munch was there she should be there too." Olivia answers raising one eyebrow.

"Fin said something about her storming out of the squad room and not coming back for the weekend. I think he took over her shift than. What the hell happened? Fin and Munch wouldn't tell me but I could see they were furious. Are you two alright?" Casey asks.

Olivia looks aside at Alex and the blonde nods.

"Yeah we are alright considering the circumstances. Rollins wanted another round. Only I wasn't that stupid and do it without witnesses again. So Fin and Munch listened. I don't know what Alex has heard." Olivia answers.

"Fin and Munch were about to start listening when I came into the squad room so we listened with the three of us. We heard it from the moment that you said 'Even if I was. You're not half the woman she is.'. What happened before that we didn't hear." Alex answers.

"At least you've heard the important part. Rollins has a crush on me, she only has a very strange way to show it. She got nasty about Alex against me. Long story short, when I rejected her the first time in the squad room she kissed me. When I asked her what the hell was wrong with her, that you can't just kiss people. She was pissed off. Anyway you both know how that ended. " Olivia says.

"Wait a second Liv. That's what you were talking about when you said that if she would try it again you would report her by IAB?" Alex asks with a quick look at Olivia.

"Yes. Why do you think I wanted Fin and Munch to listen. I knew she would try something if we would be alone." Olivia answers.

"So what are you gonna now?" Casey asks.

"Nothing. Well that's not true. I'm going on a vacation with Lex now." Olivia answers.

"You are gonna let her walk away with it? Liv, we are trying cases that started like this." Casey asks.

"Look I haven't had a vacation since... can't even remember so fast. I've been looking forward to going away with Alex and I'm not gonna let some blonde bimbo with no brains getting in my way. I'll think about it later, maybe talk about it with Alex. But I'm not gonna interrupt my vacation for this." Olivia answers.

"Blonde bimbo with no brains?" Alex snickers.

"Yeah. For a Detective she didn't act very smart today did she? " Olivia smiles.

"Funny Cabot." Casey says sarcastically.

"Look I get it that you don't wanna ruin your vacation since you haven't had one as long as I can remember. But promise me that you won't let her walk away with this." Casey says.

"I'm not gonna do anything with it for at least the first couple of days. After that I'm gonna talk about it with Alex somewhere in the remain time we have. That's what I do promise." Olivia says.

"Alright. I'm getting out of your hair than. Have a nice vacation, both of you." Casey says.

"Thanks, Case." Olivia says.

"Will do, thank you Case. Bye." Alex says.

"Bye." Casey says and ends the call.

Alex looks at Olivia again.

"You're really alright?" Alex asks softly.

Olivia looks at Alex and smiles.

"Yeah. I'm going away for week with you, couldn't be better." Olivia answers.

When they arrived in the Hampton's Alex and Olivia decided to get some take out for dinner tonight. Tomorrow they could get groceries. Neither of them felt like cooking tonight. So they picked up some Thai food before they go to the house. When they finally get to the house Olivia's jaw dropped on the floor.

"You call this a house? This isn't a house this is a freaking big villa, Cabot." Olivia says.

"C'mon Liv, it's not that big." Alex shrugs.

"Yes it. It's that big. I don't think I want to know what you call big if you think this is small." Olivia answers.

"Let's go. I'm giving you a tour through the house and then we can eat our dinner before it gets cold." Alex says, getting out of the car.

Olivia shakes her head but gets out of the car too. They take their stuff out of the trunk and walk to the house. Inside Alex leads them first upstairs to the bedrooms so they can put their stuff away. Olivia takes the guest room next to Alex's bedroom. Both rooms have a bathroom en suite. Alex and Olivia just put their bags inside the room and leave. They can unpack later. Alex shows the other rooms on the floor. There are 4 bedrooms and 3 guest rooms on the floor. All the rooms have their own bathroom. There is a master bathroom with a Jacuzzi in it. Big enough to sit in it with two adults. Then the women walk downstairs and Alex shows Olivia the living room, dinning room, kitchen, an office and the basement which is turned in a game room for the whole family. Outside in the backyard is a swimming pool and a hot tub. There is also a pool house where normally the bigger children sleep when the whole family is there. From the backyard there's a path to the beach. Since they are early and it's still warm outside Alex and Olivia are eating outside at the pick nick table. After they've done the dishes the women decide to sit outside for the evening, they always can make a fire in the fire basket near the porch swing if it gets chilly and they want to stay outside. It's actually a comfy porch swing with nice big pillows on it and if you want to you can lay down on it. Armed with a beer bottle Alex and Olivia go outside and sit on the porch swing. They are sitting each against an arm with their legs stretched next to the other's body.

"I know that you don't want to talk about what happened today yet, but could you tell me what you meant when you said 'Even if I was. You're not half the woman she is.'?" Alex asks.

Olivia looks at Alex thinking if she should answer that question or not. But the moment the Detective looks in those beautiful cerulean eyes she knows that when Alex looks at her like this she can't refuse the blonde, not now and probably never.

"Are you sure you are ready to have this conversation?" Olivia asks seriously.

Alex looks in Olivia's brown eyes and knows what the Detective means with her question.

"Yes I think I am. Are you?" Alex asks.

"Alright. I will answer your question but that's all I'm saying about what happened today. Ok?" Olivia asks.

"Yes of course. We will talk about that when you are ready." Alex answers with a soft smile.

"I told her again, that I'm not gay. Of course that woman I was talking about that's you but you already know that. That's what I meant." Olivia says.

"And a blonde with blue eyes is not your type?" Alex asks.

"I don't have a type. And stop beating around the bush, Counselor. It's not your style. Ask me what you really want to know. If I don't wanna answer it I'll tell you." Olivia answers.

Alex knows that Olivia is nervous even though for others it isn't visible and she didn't say it. But the blonde ADA knows the Detective very well and she sees it. It's the little things she does. Her hand that goes through her hair more often, her jaw is slightly set and she looks less directly in the attorney's eyes. Alex is nervous too, she never had feelings for a woman before but she knows about her feelings for the strong brunette a very long time even though she had pushed said feelings away for the same amount of time. All she has to do now is find a way to tell how she feels without scaring away the Detective and make it easier for her to be open about what she feels. For a moment Alex doubts if now is the right time but Olivia did say that she was ready for this indirectly.

"I think I know what has changed between us. At least I know what has changed for me and that are my feelings. My feelings for you are changed. Changed again if I am completely honest. I only believe in things that I can explain with logic. I'm a lawyer, there are only so many tones of Grey between black and white. Although that has changed over the years working with you guys. But that's not what this is about. I always thought that it was ridiculous when people talked about love at first sight. You can't fall in love with someone you don't know and you can't know if a person is the one for you with only one look at them. That was until we met for the first time all those years back. The moment I saw you I fell in love with you and it scared the hell out of me. I was as straight as they come. And I'm not gay or bisexual either. Anyway, as soon as I knew that you were straight too I buried my feelings for you and moved on. I got over it and we became best friends after a rough start I have to say.

But that night Liz told me to have dinner with that creepy weasel, things changed again. Although I didn't know it then. After I left the restaurant I went to Mahoney's for a drink. I only had two beers before I went home. That night I thought that I might have lost you and it hit me hard. The look in your eyes and the pain in your voice, it broke my heart. And when you came to my apartment and we talked it out I had the feeling that at the same night that my heart broke, and yours too I think, it healed too. Because I hadn't lost you. In fact the opposite, we are closer now than we ever have been. Liv, I think, I know I'm falling for you again. And it scares me, I've never been in love with a woman before. And I know I won't fall for other women too, it's just you. So in a way I'm still straight but with feelings for you. That's what happened and changed that night for me." Alex says, looking at Olivia.

Olivia was silent for a few moments and only could look at Alex. She doesn't know what it is she feels exactly with Alex's confession. She is happy, scared and confused at the same time. But she knows that she has to say something and assure the blonde attorney.

"Wow Lex. I don't know what to say at this. Except for I know the feeling. Feeling scared I mean. But I'll try to." Olivia says.

The Detective takes a deep breath trying to find the words to say.

"Take your time, Liv. I'm not going anywhere." Alex says softly.

"Thank you." Olivia says softly.

Olivia stands up to start walking but changes her mind. Alex starts to get up too but sits down again when she sees that Olivia changed her mind. The Detective takes a seat next to the blonde and looks at her.

"You are right. Things did change that night. I couldn't put my finger on it though. The next night when we were at Miracle and that guy hit on you I was jealous but I didn't understand why. Of course I was angry when the jackass wouldn't take no for an answer but it was different this time. Then when we ware at your apartment and I was on top of you, after I tickled you, it suddenly hit me how beautiful you are and it scared the hell out of me. For a moment it was like I couldn't breathe and I needed to get away from you even if it was only for a few moments. Like you I was as straight as one can be, no matter what most people think, I wasn't and am not gay. I never laid eyes on a woman before. Both times that we were separated it hit me really hard but I didn't understand why it broke me. Why I was devastated. Now I think somehow I had deeper feelings than I knew I had. I think you said it right, I'm still straight but with feelings for you. I think I start falling for you, Lex. I think I'm falling in love with you and it scares the hell out of me. And if what I'm feeling is falling in love with someone, then I've never been in love before. I've never felt like I can be myself, never felt so safe and never could open up as I do with you. Even before my feelings started to change, cuz it's only the last weeks that I'm aware of it. But what are we gonna do now, Lex?" Olivia asks.

Alex did a small victory dance inside herself. Yes she is scared too but on the other side she is happy that Olivia opened up to her, told her how she feels. And that they feel the same for each other. Now the next step is find out if they could take the next step from their current friendship and start a relationship.

"That depends. Do you want to act on our feelings or not? Do you want to a relationship or not? That's the question you need to ask yourself." Alex answers slowly.

"Do you? Want to start a relationship I mean." Olivia asks nervously.

"Yes I do. I mean we know each other very well so we don't need to learn to know each other completely. But I want to see where it can lead us to, I want a chance with you." Alex softly answers.

"I want it too. But if we are gonna do this, I want to take it slowly. I don't have the best track record and I don't want to screw this up. You mean too much to me to screw it up and to lose you because of that." Olivia says softly.

"We take it as slowly as we both need. We don't take the next step, what ever it may be, until we both are ready for it. This is new for me too Liv. I'm just as scared as you are. The only difference between us is that maybe it's easier for me to form the words, since I earn my living with it." Alex says.

"That and I'm even more private than you are. Alright let's do this. Let's give it a real try." Olivia says.

"Wait, does this mean that you're my girlfriend now?" Olivia asks.

"I guess it does. Doesn't that usually happens when two people are in a relationship or starting one?" Alex grins.

"Hey Alex?" Olivia asks with a big smile on her face.

"Yes Olivia?" Alex asks carefully when she sees the smile on the Detective's face.

"You do know that I'm the guy in this relationship, don't ya?" Olivia smirks.

Alex throws her head back and burst out in laughter.

"And she's back. Ladies and gentlemen, Detective 'Badass' Benson." Alex smiles.

**A/N 2 Just because they are together now doesn't mean they gonna jump at each others bones now. They said they want to take it slowly. So no jumping bones right now. It's the first time for them both. Nobody goes form zero to one hundred right away. **

**But damn am I happy that they told each other how they feel.**


	6. Chapter 6 Sometimes nothing is

Chapter 6 Sometimes nothing is what it looks like.

"_And she's back. Ladies and gentlemen, Detective 'Badass' Benson." Alex smiles. _

Alex and Olivia had talked for hours. They had made a fire in the fire basket and got a blanket to sit under when it got a bit chilly. They had fallen asleep on the porch swing around 11 pm and are still sleeping there. Laying against each other, having no clue what happened the last few hours in New York. And they don't know that their vacation is over, before it actually started, very soon.

**10 PM, 5 hours earlier, in New York.**

Fin had been sitting at his apartment trying to watch a movie for the past 2 hours, he was half way through the movie and had rewinded it a couple of times but still couldn't tell what the movie was about. He had this nagging feeling something wasn't right about Rollins the whole evening and he decides to give up trying to watch the movie and call Munch. Munch's phone rings 3 times before he picks up.

"Munch." Munch says.

"John it's Fin. I got a nagging feeling something is wrong for the past 2 hours. Tried to watch a movie but I still can't tell you what it's about. I've got the feeling that something about Rollins isn't right. Wanna come to the precinct to find out what?" Fin asks.

"You just beat me. I was about to call you. I have the same feeling. Meet me at in the squad room in half an hour." Munch answers and ends the call.

Half an hour later both Munch and Fin arrive at the precinct at the same time. They take the elevator up and go to their squad room. When they come inside they are startled with what they see. On Olivia's desk is written "you're mine" with white paint. Fin and Munch look at each other.

"Let's have a nice chat with Rollins, before we report her to the rat squad and call the Cap. I don't care what Liv told us to do." Fin says.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Munch says.

The next few hours the situation only got worse and worse. Amanda wasn't home and the neighbor said that the blonde had said she would stay at a friends house for a couple of days. A woman with the last name Bennon or something like that. When they came to Olivia's apartment they found out that it had turned into a crime scene. The whole place was torn apart and destroyed. They had called Cragen and Casey for a warrant to search Amanda's apartment. And it turns out that Amanda Rollins isn't Amanda Rollins at all. They went to Alex's apartment too but there was nothing wrong there. Everyone available is in the squad room as are Cragen and Casey.

"Alright Fin, what do we know about this woman so far? We're you able to identify her yet?" Casey asks.

"She was Detective Amanda Rollins' partner in Atlanta before she came here. It turns out that the real Amanda Rollins will be transferred to here but she should start in about two months. So she stole Detective Rollins identity. In Atlanta they know her as Detective Karen Bradley who was a Detective in New Orleans. But that was a stolen identity too. Detective Bradley still works in New Orleans. And in New Orleans they'd know her as Detective Melanie Brooks form New York. We searched but their never was a Detective Melanie Brooks on the force. We found the real Melanie Brooks and she died in Rikers 16 years ago. That's were the trail gets cold. So far we couldn't find anything about this woman before that. It's like she is a ghost before she took Melanie Brooks identity. And we don't have a clue where she is now.

"Munch what do you have?" Casey asks.

"They are still processing the scene at Liv's place and at Amanda's, or what her real name is, apartment they are trying to find anything that could help us to find out who she is. They found nothing yet besides the hidden 'Olivia' room, they found accidentally an hour ago." Munch answers.

"Alright Fin and Munch you two go get Alex and Olivia. Here is the address." Cragen says as he gives Munch a paper.

"I'll call the Hampton's Police department and have them send someone to the house. Just in case this woman is showing up there. After that I'm gonna call Olivia." Cragen says.

"Actually Don I think I should call Liv. Unless you want to deal with Liv's and Alex wrath. Then be my guest and call her yourself." Casey says.

"Well if you volunteer who am I to deny your offer. Alright Casey calls Olivia. Munch, Fin, you two leave now. Get our women back as soon as possible and unharmed." Cragen says.

Fin and Munch pick up their coats and leave the squad room to drive to the Hampton's, Cragen walks into his office and Casey is taking a deep breath before she calls Olivia.

**3 AM in the Hampton's.**

After Casey had tried to reach Olivia for three times the Detective finally heard the sound of hear cellphone. Her cellphone was in her front pocket of her jeans and Alex was laying against that side of the Detective. Carefully Olivia changed their position so she could get her phone and pick it up. Olivia looked at the caller id and softly groans when she sees it's Casey.

"You better have a very good reason to call me in the middle of the night on the first night of my vacation, Novak." Olivia whispers sternly.

"I do. Why else would I try to call you until you pick up? And why are you whispering, Liv?" Casey asks.

"You tell me, you're the one that's calling me in the middle of the night. And I'm whispering because Alex is still asleep and I don't want to wake her up. Now what is it that you need to call me for?" Olivia whispers.

"Alright, I'm gonna ask you later why you are sleeping with Alex next to you. Right now I need you to wake her up and put your cellphone on the speaker. Do you have your gun with you,Liv?" Casey asks.

"Yes I do. I always carry my gun with me when I'm not in my bed. Why do I need to wake up Alex and put my cellphone on the speaker? And why do you ask me if I have my gun with me? What's going on, Casey?" Olivia whispers.

"Just do it, Benson. I don't want to explain and tell you this twice. Trust me, you need to wake up Alex." Casey answers.

"Fine, but I blame you if I get Alex's wrath against me because I wake her up and she is cranky. Hold on I'm putting my phone down for a moment to wake Alex up." Olivia says before she lays down her cellphone on the ground.

"Lex, wake up sweetie. Casey is on the phone and she needs to talk to us both." Olivia says softly while shaking the younger blonde against her gently.

Alex mumbles something that Olivia can't hear and snuggles up against the Detective.

"Lex, c'mon wake up honey." Olivia says again, this time a bit louder.

"Huh? What time is it?" Alex mumbles sleepily.

"3 AM. You need to wake up. Casey is on the phone and she needs to talk with us." Olivia answers.

"Why the hell does she call you in the middle of the night? We're on a vacation for heaven's sake." Alex growls, now clearly awake.

"I don't know. She said that I needed to wake you up so that she won't have to explain and tell us it twice." Olivia says, picking up her cellphone again.

Olivia puts her cellphone on the speaker and lays it down in her lap so she can pick up her gun and hold it in her hand.

"Alright Alex is awake and the phone is on the speaker. Now what the hell did you call us for?" Olivia asks pissed off.

"Fin and Munch are on their way to get you two back, as we speak. There is an officer coming to your place, Cragen is arranging that. We have been working for hours since Fin and Munch came to the precinct last night. Long story short, they came to precinct because they had a nagging feeling about Rollins and wanted to find it out. Anyway, when they came in the squad room they saw something written on your desk with white paint. There was written "you're mine" on it. They went to her apartment to talk with her before they would report her to IAB and call Cragen. But that never happened. IAB I mean. Amanda, or what her name is, we don't know it now, met her neighbor when she was leaving. She said to her that she was staying at a friend's apartment for a couple of days. The neighbor thought that she'd told her that her friend's name was Bennon or something like that. When they got to your apartment it turned out to be a crime scene. Liv, the place was torn apart and completely destroyed. They called CSU and they are still processing your apartment. They are also processing her apartment. About an hour ago they found a room full with pictures of you and newspaper articles and God knows what else. We found out that her name isn't Amanda Rollins..." Casey explains.

Olivia interrupts the redhead ADA.

"Then who the hell is she and why didn't you call us sooner?" Olivia growls.

"What the hell is wrong with this woman?" Alex snaps.

"I didn't call sooner because we wanted to be sure it was her. We don't know who she is. We found out that she stole Detective Rollins identity after she found out that she would transfer to SVU in about two months. She was the Detective's partner in Atlanta where Detective Rollins currently is. They know her there as Detective Karen Bradley, a Detective from New Orleans. But she stole her identity too. She was Bradley's partner in New Orleans. In New Orleans they'd know her as Detective Melanie Brooks form New York. Fin and Munch looked for it but there never was a Detective Melanie Brooks on the force. They did find Melanie Brooks but she died 16 years ago in Rikers. That's where the trail got cold. So far they couldn't find anything about her before she stole Melanie Brooks' identity. It's like she was a ghost before that. They don't have a clue where she is now." Casey finishes.

Alex and Olivia look at each other completely shocked. Who the hell is this woman and why is she after Olivia?

"Why is she after Liv? Did you found out that at least or are they to stupid for that? How the hell is it possible that she could steel that many identities without being caught?" Alex growls angry.

"We don't know why. We don't know what her connection with Olivia is. And I want to know how she could steel them without being caught too. But the most important thing now is that we get the two of you back in New York at the precinct as soon as possible and in one piece. Like I said we don't know where the hell she is or what she will do if she gets you. We don't know what she wants besides Olivia to be hers. At this moment I don't even know for sure if she really has a crush on you, or that it's part of some sick plan, Liv." Casey answers.

"Well I can assure you I didn't know the crazy bitch until she came working at SVU. I may not be gay but I know that the crush she has is for real. And how the hell did she get into my apartment? How much damage is there? And how is it possible that nobody heard a thing?" Olivia asks.

"Your neighbors thought that you were at home at first. They were about to call the police because of all the noise coming from your apartment and not getting an answer after they banged on the wall when Fin and Munch showed up. She picked the lock of your front door. From what Fin told me and what I saw on the crime scene photos, I don't think you will be able to live in your apartment for months at least. If you should decide to go back in the first place. It looks like a bomb exploded in your entire apartment, figuratively speaking. There is not a single room looking like it did before she was there. I could tell you how it looks now but it will be faster if you look at the crime scene photos when you two are back here." Casey answers.

"What about my apartment? Did she went there too?" Alex asks.

"No she didn't. Fin and Munch went to your apartment and it didn't show a forced entry. They asked the doorman to open the front door and after giving a small explanation he agreed. Your apartment is alright. They went to search for mic's and camera's but they didn't find them. She's not been there." Casey answers.

"When are Fin and Munch supposed to be here?" Olivia asks.

Just as Casey wants to answer Olivia heard a car on the premises.

"I need to call you back, there's someone here." Olivia says before she hangs up.

Olivia gets up from the porch swing and puts her cellphone away, she pulls off the safety of her gun and holds it with a firm grip. Then the Detective turns to Alex.

"Lex, stay behind me and stay close." Olivia whispers.


	7. Chapter 7 Knock, knock Who's there?

**A/N Thank y'all for the really great reviews. I'm glad that y'all are liking this story. **

**As always R+R please. Now back to the story.**

**Let's hope it's the Police that just arrived at the Cabot's family house.**

Chapter 7 Knock, knock. Who's there?

"_Lex, stay behind me and stay close." Olivia whispers. _

Alex nodded at the Detective when she had said that she needed to stay behind her and stay close to her.

Olivia went into the house via the kitchen. The Detective had her gun raised in front of her and slowly walked into the living room after it turned out that it was clear, she walked through the living room to the hallway. Just when she wanted to check it the doorbell rang. Not wanted to be surprised Olivia had checked the hallway before she walked to the front door. It turned out it was the police officer that was sent to stay with them until Fin and Munch would get there. Olivia had let the Officer inside and they went into the living room. Olivia had called Casey back and explained the situation. She asked again when Fin and Munch should arrive and was told that it would be between one hour and an hour and a half. So now they are waiting for them to arrive.

"I hope they didn't wake you up Officer Healey was it?" Olivia asks.

"Yes Detective. And no they didn't wake me up. I just returned from a burglary that was called in." Healey answers.

"Nothing serious I hope?" Olivia asks.

"No. The only thing that was stolen was the resident's car. The thief broke in to get the car keys from the kitchen table." Healey answers.

"Why do so much trouble to steal a car? It would have been easier to break into the car." Olivia asks more to herself then it really is a question to the Officer.

"That's what I asked myself too. And unless we would find the thief we will never know. Although I doubt we'll find the thief. Unless the car was on a list it probably will be dumped again or stripped." Healey says.

Olivia had a bad feeling about the burglary.

"I don't know if you were briefed about why you are here but I have a bad feeling about the burglary. Can you tell me what you know about that car? You know the type and license plate." Olivia asks.

"Yes I've been told why I needed to come here. It's a blue BMW 5. Let me look up the license plate." Healey answers.

The officer pulled out his notebook and looks through his notes till he found it.

"It's FHG-2332." Healey says.

"Thank you. It might seem like I'm paranoid. But I've learned to trust my guts a long time ago and the person that's after me, lets say that I don't put this behind her." Olivia says.

"No problem, Detective. I understand it. I know the crimes in the City are different and far more dangerous than they are here, normally spoken." Healey says.

The three of them chatted some more and about an hour after Officer Healey arrived the doorbell goes again. Officer Healey stands up.

"Let me get this. It's probably your colleagues we are waiting for." Healey says.

He walks to the door while Olivia walks to the window and pulls the curtain away a bit. The Detective sees it's the BMW Healey was talking about.

"Healey! Don't open that door." Olivia says.

But Olivia called out too late Healey already opened the door. As soon as the door went open Healey got something smashed against his head and falls knocked out on the floor.

"Alex, go behind the couch and stay there." Olivia says pulling her gun.

Alex quickly jumps behind the arm of the couch and stays low. Olivia quickly walks to the doorway with her gun raised. Just when the Detective wants to go around the corner her gun is slammed out of her hands and "Amanda" is coming around the corner with a crowbar in her hands. She swings it in Olivia's directions but the Detective dodged it and "Amanda" loses her balance it giving Olivia the chance to knock the crowbar out of her hands.

"Where is the Ice Queen?" The woman asks tauntingly.

Olivia was glad Alex's car was in the garage so could lie about where the ADA is.

"She is gone, visiting someone." Olivia lies.

"That's a shame. I'll just take care of you then." The woman says pulling out a gun from behind her back.

As soon as Olivia sees "Amanda" reaches behind her back she dives to direction where her gun was. The Detective manages to get her gun and turned around while picking up her gun in one move. Both women have raised there gun and pointed at the other. "Amanda" and Olivia fire both but Olivia is just a second faster and shoots "Amanda" in her head before she rolls away but she's hit in her shoulder. Alex screams when she hears the gunfire but stays behind the couch. It was silent for a few moments and Olivia rolls back to see if "Amanda" is still alive. When she sees the woman lying on the floor without moving and her eyes open she knows she is dead. Just to be sure she crawls to the woman and checks her pulse. There isn't any.

"She's dead." Olivia manages to say.

Alex quickly jumps from behind the couch and runs to Olivia. The blonde freezes for a moment when she sees that Olivia is shot in her shoulder but quickly response after that and presses on the gsw.

"Call 911. My phone is in my left pocket. And then call Fin." Olivia softly says, fighting to stay conscious.

"Stay with me Liv, c'mon stay with me honey." Alex says.

Alex pulls one hand off Olivia's shoulder and calls 911. After she ended the call she looks through the Detective's phone book and calls Fin, putting the phone on the speaker so she can press with both hands again. The phone rings three times before it's picked up.

"Tutuola." Fin says.

"Fin, it's Alex. Liv's been shot. Where are you?" Alex asks with an emotional voice.

"What?! Damn it. We're about 2 minutes from your place according to the GPS. Hold on Alex we'll be there in a minute. Have you called 911?" Fin asks.

"Yes I did." Alex answers.

"Press on the gsw wound. We'll be there soon." Fin says and ends the call.

"Hold on Liv. Help is on the way, Fin and Munch will be here any moment." Alex pleads.

"Lex... I love you...don't forget that..." Olivia says with a soft voice.

"Stay with me, Liv. Don't you dare to leave me alone, Detective." Alex whispers.

"Promise me.. that you won't forget me...Lex.." Olivia whispers.

"I love you Liv. Stay with me, baby. C'mon stay with me." Alex cries.

"Promise.." Olivia whispers.

"I promise. I could never forget you. Just hold on help will be here soon." Alex whispers.

Olivia fights to stay awake. But she is slowly losing the battle.

"I..always...love you... Alexandra Cabot.." Olivia whispers before she loses consciousness.

"Noooo, stay with me Liv." Alex whispers, almost sobs.

Just when Olivia lost consciousness Fin and Munch arrive at the Cabot's house. They jump out the car and run inside. Munch stays with Officer Healey while Fin runs inside and to Alex. He falls down on his knees and helps her to press on Olivia's shoulder.

"What happened?" Fin asks.

"That bitch came here and knocked down Officer Healey. What happened next I don't know. Olivia told me to hide behind the couch and I did. Suddenly I heard two gunshots and the next thing was Olivia saying that she was dead. I jumped from behind the couch and saw that Liv was shot." Alex cries.

"How long is she unconscious?" Fin asks.

"Just before you ran inside." Alex answers.

They hear the sound of sirens and finally the ambulance arrives. They walk inside and find Munch with Officer Healey who just regained consciousness. Munch tells them to go inside that Olivia is shot. The paramedics pass them with a stretcher and into the living room. Within 3 minutes they are on their way to the hospital with Alex sitting next to Olivia in the ambulance and Fin and Munch follows them with Officer Healey in their car. As soon as the ambulance arrives at the hospital Olivia is brought to the OR. Leaving Alex behind in the ER waiting room.


	8. Chapter 8 I don't think so

**A/N I know I kept y'all waiting so long for the next chapter but here it is, finally. I won't keep y'all up any longer. So let's go back to the story and the new chapter quickly. Enjoy reading it.**

**We all know that Olivia made it to the hospital but what happens next...?**

Chapter 8 I don't think so.

Alex, Fin and Munch were sitting in the ER waiting room for about an hour when Alex had enough of it. She was worried about Olivia but she had pulled herself back together during the hour that they are waiting. Since the moment the nurse had left her there Alex hadn't heard anything about Olivia. Fin and Munch came in after Alex, a few minutes later. They had brought Officer Healey to the ER and then went to the waiting room to join the blonde ADA. When Alex sees a nurse coming through the doors looking for somebody else the blonde waited until she was free before she stood up to corner the nurse.

"I'm done waiting without hearing anything." Alex says before she walks to the nurse.

Fin and Munch look at each other and smile. Although they are worried about Olivia they both smile at the thought of being happy not to be at the end of the attorney's wrath this time, should it come that far. When Alex is standing in front of the nurse she briefly looks at the name tag before speaking at her.

"Excuse me, nurse Chay. My name is Alex Cabot, an hour ago Detective Olivia Benson was brought in with a GSW. However, nobody has spoken with me since the moment we got here. Can you tell me how she's doing?" Alex asks.

"Are you family of Detective Benson? Ms. Cabot?" Nurse Chay asks.

"Yes it's Ms and yes I am. As are they." Alex says pointing at Fin and Munch.

"They are Liv's partners at SVU in the City. I'm Detective Benson's girlfriend and their ADA. But I would appreciate it if you can keep that to yourself. They don't now it yet and I would like to tell them that with Liv. " Alex says.

"I see. Don't worry, I won't mention it. I don't know how Detective Benson is doing but if you could give a few minutes I can go and find it out for you." Nurse Chay says.

"Of course. Thank you." Alex answers politely.

"I'll be right back, Ms. Cabot." Nurse Chay says.

The nurse turns around and goes back through the doors. Alex walks back to Fin and Munch.

"She's going to find out how Liv's doing." Alex says softly.

"Olivia's going to be fine, Alex. She's a fighter, she will get through this." Munch says.

"I know she is. But she lost a lot of blood and we know nothing." Alex says.

"Let's wait till the nurse comes back and tells us about Liv's condition before we jump into conclusions." Fin says softly.

"Oh crap, there comes trouble walking to us." Munch mutters.

Alex and Fin turn around their head to see what Munch means. As soon as Alex sees the two cops walking to them she turns back her head. No way in hell will the blonde let them take over their case.

"Let me handle this." Alex says.

Munch and Fin nod at Alex letting the blonde ADA know they agree. When the two cops reached the trio, the oldest cop speaks up.

"Excuse me, I'm Detective Stan and this is my partner Detective Mull. Are you the Detectives that brought Detective Benson here?" Stan asks.

"Yes we are. Let me introduce us. I'm ADA Alexandra Cabot and this are Detective Tutuola and Sergeant Munch. They are Detective Benson's partners and I'm their ADA. May I ask what this is about?" Alex asks introducing themselves.

"Yes of course Counselor. We are here to ask you a few questions about Detective Benson's shooting. We are on the case." Stan answers.

"I don't think so. I don't want to be rude but this is not your case. It's my Detective that's been shot." Alex answers.

"She may be your Detective but she was shot in our district, Counselor. That makes it our case." Stan says irritated.

"Wrong again. Let me make it clear to you. The shooter that shot OUR Detective was our suspect. Detective Benson may be shot here, but that's as far as it goes. My Detective, my suspect, in my case. Therefore, this is also my or our case to be exact. All I have to do is make one phone call and you will be ordered to walk away and leave it to us. If you want me to do that tell me now because I have more important things to do then to argue with you about this." Alex says with her courtroom voice.

Both Detective's shiver involuntarily at the tone of Alex's voice. They can feel that the ADA is serious about this and they don't doubt she will get what she wants if she pushes the right buttons. Neither of them wants to see the blonde attorney getting pissed off at them if the current situation is any indication of what will happen if she gets pissed off. Stan looks at Mull for a moment before he turns back to Alex.

"If you want it, you can have it. I have no doubt that you will get it anyway if you make that phone call. Just let my Captain know it. I don't wanna have my ass kicked for this." Stan says.

"I'll take care of that. You can tell your Captain to expect a call form Captain Cragen, Manhattan's SVU Captain and Captain of these fine gentlemen here and Detective Benson." Alex answers with a normal voice now.

"I will. I hope Detective Benson will make it. A cop is a cop, or Detective in this case, no matter which district they belong to." Stan says sincerely.

"Thank you Detective Stan." Alex answers.

Nurse Chay is back in the ER waiting room.

"Family of Detective Benson." Nurse Chay calls through the room.

"If you will excuse us, we need to go." Alex says.

"Of course Counselor." Stan answers and nods to Fin and Munch.

Alex, Fin and Munch walk to nurse Chay while Detectives Stan and Mull leave the hospital.

"This are Detective Benson's partners Munch and Tutuola. How is Liv doing?" Alex asks as she points to Munch and Fin.

"The trauma surgeon performing the surgery managed to stop the bleeding. He is now trying to repair the damage on Detective Benson's shoulder. She lost a lot of blood but she's fighter though. They almost lost her once but she wouldn't give up and kept fighting. I don't know anything about the prognoses for now. But I made sure that the surgeon will come here to talk with you as soon as possible. Although it can take quite some time. I need to know who is listed as Detective Benson's MPA, in case something happens. Do you know who that is Ms. Cabot?" Nurse Chay asks.

"I am. Detective Benson doesn't have any blood relatives and I'm her best friend." Alex answers.

"Alright, there are a few forms that you need to fill in then. It won't take long." Nurse Chay says.

"Yes of course." Alex answers.

"Good. Now if none of you have questions you'd like to ask, I'll take you to the reception desk so you can fill in those forms Ms. Cabot." Nurse Chay says.

Nobody had a question that the nurse could answer now so Alex went with the nurse and took care of the forms. After she was done she called Cragen to tell him that he needs to call the Captain of the Hampton's. She told him what she knew about Olivia so far and promised him to keep him up to date. Unfortunately since there were no leading Detectives in New York right now he had asked Alex to send Munch and Fin back. He apologized for it but he really had no choice but to call them back to the City. That was 2 hours ago and Alex is sitting in the ER waiting room alone. Casey would have come to the Hampton's if it had been possible. But Casey needed to stay in NY for the squad since Alex is staying in the Hampton's with Olivia. Every time the doors opened Alex would look up to see if it was the Detective's surgeon and every time it turned out to be someone else. So after the 8th time Alex had given up to look at the doors every time they opened and just wait until they called for her. She tried to keep her emotions at bay but that isn't easy when there is nobody to distract you.

The doors to the ER waiting room opens again and Dr. Patton, Olivia's surgeon, walks inside.

"Family of Detective Benson?" Dr Patton asks.

Alex looks up and walks fast to the Dr.

"Are you family of Detective Benson?" Dr. Patton asks.

"Yes. I'm Detective Benson's girlfriend, Alex Cabot. Is Liv alright?" Alex asks.

"Detective Benson made it trough the surgery and is getting transferred to the recovery room as we speak. She will be brought to a room in about half an hour I think. As soon as you can see her a nurse will come and get you. I was able to repair the damage at her shoulder. She will need a lot of PT to get back the functioning in her right shoulder and arm after she leaves this hospital. As far as I can see for now I think she should be able to recover completely but it will take some time. She will be out of the field for a couple of months at least. However, she needs to stay here for at least a couple of days but I think that a week or so is more likely. She has proven to be a fighter during the surgery, however, she lost a lot of blood and I want to be sure she won't get any complications or infections before she will be released." Dr. Patton explains.

"That's very good news. Thank you Dr. Patton. I should warn you and your colleagues though. Liv is not only a fighter but she is also very stubborn and as soon as she wakes up she will be a royal pain in the ass when she finds out that she needs to stay in the hospital. She really hates them. That being said, can you tell me when she will wake up?" Alex asks.

"She should wake up soon. But due to the narcotics and the morphine she is getting trough an IV pomp she will be sleepy for a while I think. And I think we will be able to handle her when she is awake. We are used to stubborn patients, this is a hospital after all." Dr. Patton answers, smiling a bit.

"I can assure you, you haven't met anyone as stubborn as my girlfriend. So don't say I didn't warn you when that happens. A nurse will come and get me as soon as she is in her room right?" Alex asks.

"Yes that's right. Do you have any questions for me at this point?" Dr. Patton asks.

"Not that I can think of." Alex answers.

"Alright. If you will excuse me, I need to go back." Dr. Patton says.

"Of course. Thank you for taking care of Liv, Dr. Patton." Alex says.

"Your welcome Ms. Cabot." Dr. Patton answers.

The Dr. nods at Alex and walks out of the waiting room. As expected 30 minutes later a nurse comes to Alex and takes her to the first floor where Olivia's room is. She had told Alex that the blonde ADA could stay with Olivia for ten minutes once the Detective would be awake and after that during visiting hours. But Alex Cabot wouldn't be Alex Cabot if she didn't manage to get the nurse agreeing to stay at Olivia's side as long as she wants and is needed. It took her 5 minutes but at the end the nurse finally gave in and Alex was allowed to stay with Olivia as long as she wanted. By then they arrived at Olivia's room and the nurse opened the door and steps aside to let the blonde attorney pass her and walk inside before she leaves to let the medical staff at the floor know that Alex is staying in the Detective's room.

Alex steps inside and sees Olivia lying in the hospital bed. The Detective never looked so vulnerable and small as she looks now to Alex. Till now Alex always thought that her girlfriend was 8 feet tall and unbreakable. Alex walks to the chair next to Olivia's bed and sits down taking the Detective's left hand in her own hands. Looking at Olivia's face, Alex finally let her emotions go.

"You need to wake up Liv. I want to see your beautiful brown eyes looking at me. I need to hear your voice again and I need to tell you... I want to tell you..." Alex says.

"Spit it out Counselor. Just tell me what you want to say." Olivia says huskily.


	9. Chapter 9 Déjà vu

Chapter 9 Déjà vu

"_You need to wake up Liv. I want to see your beautiful brown eyes looking at me. I need to hear your voice again and I need to tell you... I want to tell you..." Alex says._

"_Spit it out Counselor. Just tell me what you want to say." Olivia says huskily. _

Stormy blue eyes are looking shocked into brown eyes.

"You're awake." Alex whispers as tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You really didn't think I would leave you suffering and stay asleep did you? Now what is it that you were trying to tell me, honey?" Olivia asks, her voice a bit raspy.

"I can't believe you're awake. This isn't a dream is it? That I wake up to find out that your still unconscious?" Alex asks softly.

"It isn't Lex. You're not dreaming. Could I do this if I was still unconscious?" Olivia asks.

Olivia picks up Alex's hand and brings it to her lips and places a soft kiss on it. Then she lowers their hands and places Alex's hand on her chest so that the blonde can feel her heartbeat.

"I was so worried about you. You lost so much blood. The nurse told me that they almost lost you once and I was so scared that I would never see you again. That you wouldn't make it. Now I know how you must have felt when I was shot. I tried to stop the bleeding but I couldn't. Fin helped me when they arrived at the house. But together we couldn't stop the bleeding. I never have been so scared in my life." Alex almost whispers.

Olivia's heart breaks when she hears Alex's words. She still can remember perfectly that hateful day so many years ago. She still wakes up from the nightmares she has about it and can feel or see the blood on her hands. It hits the Detective hard to know that the blonde knows how that feels now. She needs to feel Alex against her. Hold her in her arms. She needs to feel that Alex is alive, that she's alive. And if it's the same for Alex as it was for her she knows that Alex needs it too. Olivia slowly moves in her bed and scoots to the right side of the bed so that Alex can lay against her at her uninjured side.

"I know, Lex. I know how you feel. About everything you just said. Come here." Olivia says, petting on the bed.

Alex looks at Olivia with her eyes are full of tears and she sees that Olivia knows what she feels. And even worse, after all the Detective thought she was dead till the moment she came out of that SUV. Alex looks a bit confused at Olivia. Not really getting what the brunette means.

"What?" Alex asks.

"Come here and lay down with me." Olivia answers softly.

"Liv, I can't. You're injured. You were shot only a few hours ago." Alex says.

"Alexandra Cabot get your ass on this bed now. I know you need it and truthfully I need it too. I need to feel you in my arms and I need to know that we both are alive." Olivia says emotionally.

Alex then realizes what she said and how it affected the strong Detective. And how right Olivia is about needing to feel her close against her.

"Are you sure? I should call the Dr. letting him know that you're awake." Alex asks.

"The Dr. can wait. You can't. And yes I'm sure. Now do I really need to ask you again to come into bed with me?" Olivia asks teasingly.

Alex shakes her head and takes of her shoes before she carefully climbs on the bed and turns on her side, snuggling against Olivia and lays her head down on the Detective's chest. Olivia puts her good arm around Alex waist carefully because of the clip on her finger and pulls her gently against her. Both women let out a sight. Feeling safe now that they are in each others arms again.

"Now isn't this better than to sit in that chair?" Olivia asks.

"Yes it is. I'm sorry Liv. I didn't think how it would feel for you when I said what I said." Alex says.

"It's alright Alex. You just said what you feel or felt. And I understand that. You've been through a lot the last few hours. From the moment that crazy bitch came bursting into the house till the moment you finally could see me. And I think that we should talk about both our shootings. I never talked about what it did with me with anyone. Not now but some time when I'm not in the hospital anymore. Now how about you try to relax and get some sleep, huh? You must be exhausted now." Olivia asks.

"I don't think so Detective. First I'm gonna tell you what I tried to say when I thought you were unconscious and then I'm gonna call the Dr. We'll see about it after the Dr. has seen you. And you're right we need to talk about what our shooting means for the both of us when we can do it in private." Alex answers.

"I don't need a Dr. I'm fine. And I would like to keep you in my arms and sleep with you like this." Olivia whines.

"Don't start being stubborn already. You're awake for about 5 minutes. Let the Dr. see you if not for yourself than do it for me." Alex says.

"Fine I won't start now. But if he says something I don't like I won't keep my mouth shut. Now please tell me what you wanted to say before." Olivia says.

"That's the best I can get for now so I'll take it. As for what I want to tell you or need to tell you. I realized something. I know we just agreed to start a relationship and to go slowly. But that was before you got shot. And well.. I want to tell you something. But I don't want to scare you off or make you run. I don't know if you can remember it or not. But you see... I'm.. I mean I.." Alex stutters.

"I know what you're trying to tell me. You can't scare me off or make me run by telling it again, Lex. I remember what I said before I lost consciousness and I remember what you said. And I meant it or to exact, I mean it. I love you Alexandra Cabot, I'm in love with you." Olivia says and kisses the blonde's forehead.

Alex let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Hearing Olivia say that she loved her that she was in love with her and that she remembered saying it before is such a relief for the blonde ADA. She has no problems now with saying it again.

"I love you too Olivia Benson, I"m in love with you too. I thought that maybe you didn't remember it because you lost consciousness after we both said it. And if you didn't remember it I didn't want to scare you. I know we agreed to go slow but after being so close to losing you I don't want to go real slow. I still want to wait to get intimately till we both are ready for it. And obviously you aren't physically ready for it but even if you would be I still want to wait." Alex says.

"I want the same. But what I do want to do as soon as possible is take you out on date a real date. You know pick you up take you to some romantic place or go to see something and then bring you home when it's time. Alex, would you like to go on a date with me?" Olivia asks.

"Yes Liv I would love to go on a date with you. And if it's alright with you I would like to kiss you now." Alex answers.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Not that I don't want to because I do. But I'm still hooked up at the heart monitor and I don't want the nurses running inside this room and see us kissing. Because I can assure you that my heart rate will go up if you kiss me Alexandra Cabot. And that's a good thing. So I think we should wait till the damn machine is gone and then we kiss as much and as long as we want." Olivia says.

"Charmer. I'm gonna call the Dr. to get rid of that monitor. And to have him check up on you." Alex says smiling.

The blonde turn around and presses the call button on the remote for patients. Alex wants to climb out of the bed and sit down in the chair again so that the Dr. doesn't see her lying in bed with Olivia because that would for sure start a fight between the Detective and the Dr. but Olivia gets what Alex wants to do and puts her arm firmer around the blonde's waist. Alex wants to protest and explain why she wants to leave Olivia's bed but she doesn't get the chance. Unfortunately for them the Dr. was already on his way to Olivia's room and was about to step knock on the door and step inside when he saw the red light above the Detective's room turned on. So he opened the door and stepped inside.


	10. Chapter 10 Try me

Chapter 10 Try me.

Dr. Patton walks into Olivia's room and sees Alex lying in the Detective's bed next to her. He sees the determined look on Olivia's face and turns around to close the door and then turns back.

"I'm Dr. Patton. I'm glad you are awake Detective Benson, but you should be lying in your bed alone. Ms. Cabot you need to leave the Detective's bed." Dr. Patton says.

"I'm glad that I'm awake too and Alex stays where she is." Olivia says, holding Alex firmly against her.

"Detective, you've been shot in your shoulder only a few hours ago and you should rest alone in your bed not sharing it." Dr. Patton says sternly.

Olivia doesn't let go of Alex and sets her jaw. Not planning to give in one little bit.

"I am resting in my bed. I'm fine and Alex is not leaving my bed Dr. Patton!" Olivia says equally sternly.

"I know that cops don't like laying in a hospital bed and have to stay in a hospital. And I can assure you that the longer Ms. Cabot is staying in your bed the longer you need to stay in this hospital. You already need to stay for a couple of days till a week. I'm sure you don't want to stay longer because Ms. Cabot is in your bed. Ms. Cabot needs to get out of your bed, Detective!" Dr. Patton says.

"You really don't think I'm staying in this hospital for a couple days let alone a week, do you? I'm fine and I'm sure as hell won't stay here for a week. And for the last time Alex doesn't leave my bed unless I want her out of it. Or she wants to leave it on her on terms not yours! What do want to do against it?" Olivia asks.

"What do I do against it? How about what are you going to do? You can't use your right arm or shoulder. I'm sure you can't get out of your bed right now. You need medication for the pain and to prevent an infection of your wounds. So you need to stay at least a few days for that." Dr. Patton answers.

Olivia takes her arm away from Alex and slowly turns herself so she sits on the edge of her bed. Then the stubborn Detective slowly puts her feet on the floor and with her left hand she pushes herself up and gets of the bed. The Dr. is to surprised to say anything when he saw Olivia moving and is stunned when the Detective stands next to her bed. Alex is shaking her head but doesn't say a thing. The blonde ADA knows that it's useless and only will infuriate her girlfriend more. She holds back until she has no other choice. Dr. Patton said he could handle stubborn patients and that this was a hospital so that they were used to it. Now was the time to show them that he could handle the stubborn brunette.

"I think I prove you were wrong about getting out of my bed. And your wrong about my pain meds too. I may have the IV but there isn't coming into my body because I switched off the pomp. I hate pain medication, they always make me feel like crap the next day when I wake up. So saying that I need the medication for the pain doesn't work neither. As for other meds preventing an infection, I don't need a needle in me for that." Olivia counters.

Olivia slowly sits down on her bed again and turns so that she can put her legs on it again. After that she slowly moves and lies back against the pillow pulling Alex back against her and possessively puts her arm around the smirking blonde. Alex still doesn't say a thing she only smiles knowingly at Dr. Patton who has raised his eyebrow almost up to his hairline by now.

"You now what Ms. Cabot? I take back what I said earlier about handling stubborn patients. You were right I haven't met anyone as stubborn as Detective Benson here. Detective you need to stay in your bed. What do I have to do to keep you in it and obey my instructions? Don't answer with letting Ms. Cabot stay in your bed. That's not an option." Dr. Patton says.

"O yes she does. If you want me to stay here tonight and tomorrow let alone a couple of days, Alex stays where she is now. You can't force me to take meds against the pain and you can't force me to stay against my will." Olivia growls.

The Detective is irritated and getting pissed off very soon or so it might seem. Alex knows that she shouldn't put it behind her stubborn girlfriend to leave the hospital tomorrow or even today if she really gets pissed off. With or without an AMA form.

"Liv, I know you don't like the situation to put it mildly. But I think you should listen to Dr. Patton. He doesn't do or say this to badger you. He does it because of your physical wellbeing. I don't say I choose his side, I just want you to be able to recover completely so you can go back to do your job as soon as possible. I know that's what you want." Alex carefully says.

"I think you should listen to Ms. Cabot because she is right." Dr. Patton says.

"I didn't ask for your opinion Dr. Patton. Alex stays where she is and I don't take any meds that I don't need. If you don't agree I will leave this hospital today, with or without your permission. Even if it means I have to leave wearing this damn gown." Olivia answers angrily.

Dr. Patton raises his hands and shakes his head.

"Detective you are without a doubt the most stubborn and hard headed person I've ever met in my entire life. Fine if that's what it takes to keep you in your bed and makes you stay, Ms. Cabot can stay in your bed and you will only get antibiotics. If and only if you want them you'll get pain medication. Are you happy now?" Dr. Patton asks frustrated.

"No I'm not happy. I will be happy the moment I can leave this damn hospital. But I'll take your offer and stay in my bed for now." Olivia answers.

"Thank God you've come to your senses, at least for a bit. I'll send a nurse to take away the equipments, obviously you don't need them anymore. The IV stays where it is though. And I'm getting out of your hair now. I think I've had enough stubbornness for the rest of this month." Dr. Patton says.

"Thank you Dr." Olivia says.

Dr. Patton shakes his head and leaves Olivia's room hoping that the nurses won't get too much trouble with his stubborn patient. One thing the Dr. knows for sure, he can't wait till he can release the Detective. When Dr. Patton has left the room and closed the door behind him Alex looks at Olivia.

"You couldn't help yourself, could you? You had to be a pain in the ass. You had to be stubborn and hard headed to get what you wanted. One thing is for sure, he will never forget you. And he will never meet someone like you again." Alex says.

Olivia looks at Alex sheepishly. She knows that the younger woman next to her is right. Not that she will ever admit it of course. Because that isn't Badass.

"I love you too, Cabot." Olivia smiles.

"I love you too, Liv. Even when you are being stubborn and hard headed. Now how about we get some sleep after the nurse has taken away everything you don't need anymore?" Alex asks.

"That's the best idea I've heard today Counselor. I'll agree to that but only if you snuggle up against me when we are going to take a nap." Olivia answers.

"You've got yourself a deal Detective. There's nothing I want more than to snuggle up against you and fall asleep in your arms." Alex smiles.

"There's nothing more that I want for now than to have you in my arms when I fall asleep." Olivia says softly.

After a few minutes a nurse comes into Olivia's room to take away the monitor and to put a new bag on the IV standard. She sees that Alex is still lying next to Olivia but having heard from Dr. Patton what happened she knows better than to say anything about it that makes the Detective turns against her. She doesn't want to deal with what happens if she should do it.

"Good morning Detective. I'm here do what Dr. Patton asked me to do. After I'm done with that maybe you could try to sleep a bit. You need to rest to get well sooner." The nurse says.

"Good morning nurse. Trying to get some sleep is what I wanted to do after you're done. But Alex stays where she is. We're taking a nap together." Olivia says.

"Don't worry. Your girlfriend can stay with you. I think that Ms. Cabot can use some sleep too, it's been a long night for the both of you." The nurse smiles.

"Thank you. Finally, someone who gets it." Olivia answers.

Alex and the nurse laugh about Olivia's comment. The nurse disables the monitor and switches the bag with antibiotics. Then she takes away the equipments.

"Sleep well Detective and Ms. Cabot. If there's anything you need just push the call button and there will be someone coming to you. I or one of my colleagues will come and check on you in few hours." The nurse says.

"Thank you. I know I'll sleep well if I fall asleep. I have Alex in my arms there's nothing better than having her in my arms while sleeping." Olivia says smiling.

"Thank you. I'm sure we will sleep well." Alex says.

The nurse nods and leaves the room closing the door behind her.

Olivia moves a little bit so she lies better and then Alex snuggles up against her.

"I love you Lex. Sleep well." Olivia says.

"I love you too Liv. Sleep well." Alex answers.

Not even 5 minutes later both women are sound asleep. Safe and in each others arms.


End file.
